During our trim to Disney everyone seemed to see the good in the guests (due to great job training).  It is in the Disney DNA to make everyone feel as special as they are.  Everyone from the stroller rental people to the dining staff addressed Eden as “little princess” and some commented her hair was the same color as Ariel.  It was great and we all felt like this was a place we could live forever because we felt like we belonged.

Time and time again we have young people (but everyone really) that are longing to be loved and to have a place.  When we were still in the planning stages of this series I began to look at ways that I could search out the Beauty in some of the Beast situations that i have faces through the student ministry and the church in general.  I am astonished what you can find in people’s hearts when you intentionally search out the good rather than when you are quick to see the differences or negative.

Reflect:

What are some areas where you need to search out the Beauty?

How can you let others know that they are special? (a kind word, a note or e-mail, a special unexpected treat…)

this week let at least 2 unlikely people know that you care and they are special.

Regardless of that, I saw the importance of coming up with good questions so that you could weed out the losers from the winner.  I think the importance is true with youth ministry as well.  We need to be able to ask great questions and follow-up questions to get at the heart of who our kids are.

I have tried to come up with some of my thoughts about asking questions, but i would like to hear yours too.  I know that I am very bad at this and so it has taken some work and effort to get to the place where I am.  Here is my brain dump of question asking:

1. Start slow: Start off with something easy.  Ask for some information about a student that isn’t really taxing and so you can get an idea of where they are located in life.
2. Open a Door: Ask open ended questions where there is no “yes” or “no” answer.  This will make them think and give you something else to talk about.
3. Care by listening: Allow the conversation to build on what they have already talked about.  Don’t just ask your questions without thinking about what the students are saying.  Asking follow-up questions will show that you are listening and that you do care.  Having an adult really listen is something that many students lack in their lives and is meaningful.
4. Repeat: Check back in with them the following week about something that they shared with you (a sporting event, test, birthday…).  I have to write these things down or I forget.  But, it is always cool when people remember what is important to you from week to week.

What are some other ways you have found to ask great questions?

Chris Bishop | Adventures of a pastor sorting out this conspiracy of grace